3 Ways To Get Rid of Love

OK. This is maybe the hottest topic in the teenagers world. Love. A phenomenon triggered by the adequate level of hormones such as testosterone, estrogen, dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, and vasopressin in our brain. Testosterone is responsible for sexual behaviour,while Dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin is for the early phase of attraction, and lastly Oxytocin and vasopressin is linked to bonding and creation of long term relationship.

But we know that these scientific facts had a long way to go before they can define love properly.As  John Bancroft, emeritus director of the Kinsey Institute in Bloomington, Ind said : "We have only a very limited understanding of what romance is in a scientific sense,"

It's a very subjective matter. And one thing we know is that it can hit
anybody,whether we want it or not.Once we're in love,the world changed,sleep and food seems very insignificant, the images of the person is anywhere, and we can't get it out of our mind.And I myself had alot of experiences being hit by the arrow of cupid.


CRUSH VS LOVE

It's two different things. During my school years, I remembered falling in love with several girls for different phases of my study. In standard 1,it was a girl called Rosmaizan. I'm still embarassed when I remember that I once do some grafitti on the wall of my house about her,and it is really big,something like "I <3 Rosmaizan" . And the remnants of it are still there today. Standard 2 was about a girl called Zubaidah, Standard 5 and 6 were totally different girls,Form1-3 and on it goes for my list of "monkey-loves" as Malaysian calls it. That was before I know that crush and love are two different things .  Let us see.

Crush : is when you sees someone and you like her qualities.She's beautiful,she had a good attitude,she's hot, she's cute,she's sexy.And these happened during first look.You admire her and want to talk to her. And this is what happened to me during school.

Love : is taking it to to the next level. It's when you see her imperfections and bad qualities but you still want to be with them. It's about long-term relationship. She's clumsy,careless,hot-tempered but you still wanna stay with her.When you have a crush on someone they can do no wrong. When you are in love, you recognize the persons faults but you accept them because you realize no one is perfect.All in all,Love, is realizing that you really would like spending the rest of your life with that person. That is a powerful moment and kind of scary too! When love hits you, you know it!

LOVE AND COUPLE
There's nothing wrong in loving someone,because it's the nature of human and God's most miraculuos gift to us. But doing nothing about it, intensifying it by asking the girl to go out on a date, texting her like crazy with lustful words,and taking the love to the next level without any legitimate tie (nikah), that's wrong. Why?  Al-Isra' :32.

But,sometimes saying something's really easy than doing it. It's not easy to just stop someone from doing wrong things just by quoting from Al-Quran. That's the problem today. There are people who need more extrinsic factors to do or to not do something, not because adhering to the Law of God.

"Ko x tau la ko x kna lagi..Ckap byk plak! "
"Eyh,skali ko kna,,ko takkan ckap cmnie la!!"

These are some of the responses from teenagers when we tried to convinced them about this.
I'm a teenager too and I had experiences falling in love. And in fact I AM in love right at this moment.
I'm still struggling to supress the desire of "coupling" with this special girl, and these are the methods that I used in my battle against it:

1. Thinking about marriage life : A simple sentence but gives a deep meaning, "what you give, you get back". My principle is that what I do today will reflect what kind of wife I will get in the future. If I myself had involved in immoral activities, my spouse will also had done it in her past. My life-mate is who I am. Ask ourselves, do we want spouses that had been touched,kissed,held by someone else? Do we want second-hand thingies?  I am absolutely sure that everyone loved precious, first hand stuff. If that's so, we need to be a first hand thing first.We need to be a good person in order to be destined with a good person. Choose. Short gratification during teenage years ,but everlasting nightmare in marriage OR  Short Mujahadah (suppression ) during youth,but eternal happiness that will continue to the Heaven.

2.  Distract myself from it: Keep in mind that the way to forget something is not by trying to forget it because if you do this,you will end up remembering about her more than before. So, to forget something, do other works,make yourself busy and useful such as blogging, participating in outdoor activities,or involving in clubs and societies in the university.

3.  Spending time together before marriage will take away all the JOY in the marriage life.Because you already know her,her favourite food,her behaviour and everything about her.So, there's nothing or less things to talk about in bed anymore. In simpler words, you will get bored with her.It;s true that arranged marriage had it;s own "boring phase" but statistics shows that it is less than  people who do alot of activities before they get married. It's discovering your spouse's likes and dislikes,behaviour and attitude that will make it a fun and intriguing journey.


WALKING ON A ROPE
 Nevertheless, my journey is still long. And I am not the best person to talk about this because I'm not married yet.:p . Anytime from now , I can lose in this battle against my desire. Just like walking on a rope. It's not impossible for you to see me hanging out with a certain girl while holding hands in some megamalls. It is the nature of our hearts to be changing all the time.So,the responsibility is upon you my friends to bring me back to the path of righteousness.

My mother once said (warning,translation needed) : "Kalu kito brkene kt seseore,pendam jah la dulu,kalu ado jodoh lpah ni , jupo mula slpas blaja lpas ni.Jange bimbe".

Loved this quote :

“If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were destined for you.”